Ramblings from my life…

Sleep… and other mysteries

Does caffeine really keep people awake? I drank coffee about an hour ago and I’m tired beyond belief. Why am I sitting here typing then? Oh, that would be because the Navy has my husband out on travel again. I know, it comes with the territory. However, for some reason no matter how tired I am and whether I’ve had caffeine or not, I can’t fall asleep when he is gone. I dread hoping into bed alone – feeling the cold void next to me. I worry about silly things and then my mind wanders into the plans for the next day and so on. Even the nighttime routine is bare and lonely. I mean, how hard is it to brush your teeth, wash your face and let the dog out? For the entire 7 months that he was recently gone, I’d have a lump in my throat when I’d open the door for the dog, like someone was watching me. Then when it comes time to turn out the light, dark and silence is filled with an eerie numbness like from out of a scary movie. Even the dog paces the floors.

So, even though I only have one night alone this time around… those feelings lurk… the emptiness, the chill, the unsettledness. (Is that a word?) Pig Will even woke up an hour ago complaining about something (inaudible) and asking for water.

Oh well, C’est la Vie. Enjoy your nice cozy king size bed with plush pillows and covers in your huge hotel room with a view and kitchen. Oh Navy, please send the wife next time… sounds so nice. 🙂

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2 responses

  1. I saw your post on my blog and I am so sorry to hear about the PTSD. Not fun, I can only imagine. I’m sorry that hubby is gone again, if only for a short while. SOmetimes I think that is worse…. at least when they are gone for a long time, you adjust, develop a routine. This way I just feel unbalanced all the time.

    Hopefully he will be home for Thanksgiving and you all will have a wonderful holiday together. Please know you are often in my thoughts and prayers and I was so happy to hear from you! We really do have to stay in touch more. I’m not doing as much on the Cafe, so I will try ot make a point of reading here!! Love and hugs, Snow

    November 15, 2007 at 10:25 am

  2. I know what you mean by the eeriness of the house when dh isn’t around. I hate when mine is not here.

    November 17, 2007 at 9:55 pm

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